What’s love got to do with? it??

“♥ What’s Love Got to Do with It? (EVERYTHING) ♥

Excerpt From

Finding Sierra

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I didn’t really have hopes and dreams for the adult me. I knew I would have a job, just wasn’t sure doing what. I wanted a three or four-bedroom home, although I did not want children. I remember setting a goal to have it by the time I was 25. I made money, but I was so busy loving on everybody else that what I wanted took the back burner. I’m not really sure when this started for me, but I noticed I was definitely in a cycle of putting everyone else’s concerns before my own.

It seemed I took a silent oath of some sort to protect and serve. I figured that loving them would create a shield around them, and I was saving them from all the pains that I experienced. In fact, at this point, if you were to ask me what made me happy, I’d say making others happy. Now I think about it, that was the only thing that I could say I got my happiness from. How sad does that sound?

“This mindset produced my perspective. Indeed, it was the very thing that held me back from flourishing.

I’ve come to realize that I had a complex with love, and because of it, I subsequently taught people, but more importantly myself, how to treat me. This resulted in an off and on long-distance relationship, more off than on. That and so much more because of this complex. As I’m now able to have a closer look, when did I start facing my truth and my lies? When I told myself about love? I’ve hidden behind other people’s greatness so I could remain complacent with myself. I found accountability in being there for others but had not learned to be accountable to myself.

We finally got married in August 2016. Let’s say I again found a way not to listen to my voice within. I ignored every bright red flag I saw and made pretty little trees out of them to go with this picture I was choosing to see. I’m not saying the two of us should not have been married, but what I’m saying is that my voice, my spirit, God, whoever—somebody was trying to tell me[…]” “every person, place, and thing how to love me as well. Yes, the price for this experience was going to cost me everything.

There go those dots again, connecting themselves. Even with my eyes full of tears, I can see them. This picture I had painted, with pretty little trees, was fading. The dots now revealed that there was a picture in this picture. You can also see it like scripture has written, having a ram in the bush, or a lesson to be learned. Seeing the good out of the bad.

Who would have thought that the sign I purchased from the gift shop at work would play a tremendous part in my story? The sign read, “Find Joy in the Journey.” I remember grabbing it one day. It called to me, and this time I listened. I bought it, not yet realizing that I was on the most important journey of my life.

I had thought that I had been here before, but I was sadly mistaken. This was truly the threshing floor, the place where all things were about to be determined. The place where the real Sierra, the authentic Sierra, would have to stand up[…]” “every person, place, and thing how to love me as well. Yes, the price for this experience was going to cost me everything.

“What’s love got to do with it? Everything is my answer, in my Tina Turner voice, because it all starts with you loving you. It’s easy to say I still have a complex with love, but this time I won’t be getting the short end of the stick.”